You’ve probably heard the word grit before. But few ask what it is, let alone what is the importance of "Grit?"

Most people define grit as passion combined with perseverance. Even though that’s true, it’s also simpler than that. Grit is refusing to quit the moment things get uncomfortable. It’s finishing what you start because you said you would, not because you feel like it.

The reality is, it’s not about being tough for tough’s sake. It’s about sticking it out when it hurts. Talent is overrated. Grit is where the magic happens.

Now before you roll your eyes, or start defending little Johnny’s “natural potential,” let’s take a minute and talk about something that matters far more than IQ, TikTok fame, or how well someone can sing in the shower.

We need to talk about grit. Real grit. The stay-in-the-fight-when-it-hurts kind. The wake-up-and-show-up-even-when-you-don’t-feel-like-it kind. The kind our grandparents had by default, and our teenagers seem to be outsourcing to Google.

Angela Duckworth, a psychologist and the unofficial queen of grit research, defines it as “sustained passion and perseverance for especially long-term goals.” For me though, Grit is doing what needs to be done, especially when you really don’t want to.

It’s about consistency over intensity. Everyone can be motivated for five minutes. But Grit kicks in when the motivation dies. And as so many of us know… it always dies, eventually.

Why Grit matters more than ever

Step into any coffee shop, and you’ll find teens scrolling for approval or taking the easy route. Homework's due? There’s an app to do it. Bored? There’s a feed for that. Struggling to wake up? Press snooze. Again. And again.

That’s a problem. Because real life doesn’t come with filters or shortcuts. If your kid thinks effort means tapping a button, their first real setback could fold them for good.

There’s a reason anxiety and burnout are through the roof in teens. It’s not just the screens, it’s a generation that hasn’t practiced showing up and stepping up when the going gets tough.

They’ve been raised in bubble wrap with helicopter parents circling in close proximity!

Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

The Grit Gap

When looking at the past and comparing it to the modern day and age, you’ll notice what I call “The Grit Gap”.

Let’s do a quick comparison:

Then:

• You wanted a job? You walked in, shook hands, and proved yourself.
• You wanted something? You saved up to buy it.
• You failed a test? You studied harder.

Now:

• Didn’t get the grade? Blame the teacher.
• Want something? Ask for the credit card.
• Struggling? Label it, medicate it, and avoid the challenge.

And don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-mental-health. I’ve spent years coaching people out of real trauma. But there’s a huge difference between mental illness and mental weakness. One requires support. The other requires challenge.

We’re breeding a generation of emotional sprinters, when what the world actually needs is mental marathon runners.

So where has the Grit gone?

Look anywhere.

It’s missing in academics, where “trying your best” has replaced actual performance.
It’s missing in sports, where everyone gets a participation trophy.
It’s even missing in friendships, where ghosting is the modern version of conflict resolution.

And yes, it’s missing at home too.

Mothers, I love you, but seriously! Protecting your child from every bump, bruise, and bad day doesn’t make you a good parent. It makes them fragile. And fragile has become the new norm. Resilience might be considered old-fashioned, but resilience is grit’s best friend. Without it, we’re raising weak adults who will collapse under pressure.

Life will hit them. There are no two ways about it. Your job isn’t to stop the punches. It’s to teach them how to take a hit, get up, and keep swinging.

How to build Grit (Yes, it’s trainable)

Here’s the good news: Grit isn’t some mysterious personality trait. It’s a skill, and like any skill, it can be trained, sharpened, and strengthened.

Here are five ways to start that journey:

1. Stop rescuing them from discomfort

Your teenager doesn’t need another excuse. They need experience.

• Missed the homework deadline? Let them take the zero.
• Didn’t wake up for school? Let them face the detention.
• Got dumped? Don’t play the therapist, let them feel the pain.

Hard experiences build strong people. Let life do its job.

2. Make discipline non-negotiable

Discipline isn’t punishment. It’s self-respect in action.

Teach your teen to:

• Show up on time.
• Finish what they start.
• Do what they said they’d do, even when they don’t feel like it.

The goal is not perfection. It’s following through. Daily.

3. Reframe failure as fuel

Most teens fear failure because they’ve never been taught how to use it.

Here’s how I teach it to my clients:

Failure = Feedback
Feedback = Clarity
Clarity = Progress

Every setback is data that can be used. Don’t cry over spilt milk. The sooner you learn from it and get back into it, the sooner you can get the outcome you envisioned.

4. Delay gratification on purpose

Grit grows in the gap between wanting something and getting it.

• If they want a phone? Make them earn it.
• If they want to quit a sport mid-season? Make them finish it.
• If they want to win? Teach them how to lose well first.

The longer the delay, the stronger the muscle.

5. Lead by example

This one’s for the adults in the room.

Your kids don’t do what you say. They do what you show.

If you complain about work, avoid discomfort, snap under pressure, or binge-scroll when you’re overwhelmed… what message are you sending?

Do you want gritty kids? Well then, be a gritty parent.

Show them what it looks like to commit, to struggle, to grow through the pain. Then let them rise to your level. And as an added bonus; You’d be amazed at the connection it builds.

When grit shows up, life changes

Years ago, I was working two jobs, studying, running a business on the side, and still making time for family, friends, and hitting the gym every day (yes it was a coping mechanism). There was no Plan B. Just Plan A and no sleep.

I wanted to quit about 147 times, but I didn’t. Because I’d trained myself, through repetition, discipline and responsibility, to keep moving no matter what. That, is grit.

It didn’t make me superhuman. It made me prepared. And that’s the lesson I want your teenagers to learn before life hits them full in the face.

Because it will.

Why this matters for the future

The world doesn’t need more soft minds with strong opinions. It needs people who can focus, finish what they start, and handle pressure without falling apart.

Grit isn’t about being fearless. It’s about being courageous despite the fear. It’s about choosing effort over ease, growth over comfort, and purpose over popularity.

And if we don’t teach our kids this now, life will teach it later. And it will do so brutally, unforgivingly, and with far less kindness than we ever could.

Final thoughts

If you’ve made it this far, congrats! You’re already showing grit.

Parents, grit isn’t optional anymore. It’s essential.

Teenagers, the world isn’t going to slow down for your excuses. It doesn’t care how tired you are. It doesn’t care how hard it feels. It doesn’t care about your emotions or your popularity. But the bottom line is that it will reward you, handsomely, if you can master the art of sticking with it.

So, build grit like it’s your superpower. Because it is.

And when everyone else is quitting, complaining, or coasting… you’ll be the one who finishes strong.

And that makes all the difference.